How to Prevent and Deal with Holiday Overeating

(Excerpt from Am I Hungry? What to Do When Diets Don’t Work)

I love the holidays. For weeks, our family has been planning for the significant meals we’ll share. We’re each assigned to bring the traditional dishes we’ve become known for—and with our large family, there’s always plenty. During the blessing my uncle always gives thanks for the food that nourishes our bodies. Then the nourishment begins!

I know these types of gatherings take place all over the world, year after year. The comments are as traditional as the food. “Honey, this is the best turkey you’ve ever made. Please pass the potatoes and gravy again.” “I can’t eat another bite or I swear I’ll explode.” “Alright, just a little sliver of pie then.” After dinner people are sprawled out in front of the television, occasionally groaning or dozing off.

As much I love these special occasions, I now know that there’s an invisible line that I can cross if I’m not mindful. That line separates a great celebration with wonderful food from an afternoon of discomfort and regret. I constantly remind myself I live in a land of abundance where turkey and potatoes are available year round and food will always taste good. So why eat until I’m miserable? Why not enjoy the event and still feel good when it’s over? 

When you live in a land of abundance, deciding how much food you need to eat is critical for lifelong weight management and health. As importantly, when you eat the perfect amount of food, you’ll feel satisfied—just right!

Just Right

Think for a moment about how you feel when you’re satisfied. If you’re mindful, you’ll notice that as you become full, the flavor of the food goes from fabulous to just OK and it gets harder to give food and eating your full attention. You are content, fulfilled, and happy. You feel light and energetic and ready for your next activity.

When you eat more than you need, you’ll feel unnecessarily uncomfortable, sleepy and sluggish. Eating too much causes you to feel low energy so you may not want to be active. Of course your body will have no choice but to store the excess as fat. It can also lead to feeling guilty which often leads to even more overeating.

So what can you do to prevent overeating – and what should you do when it happens anyway?

Prevention is the Best Medicine

• Before you start eating, decide how full you want to be when you’re done. It’s fine to decide you want to be stuffed, as long as you’ve thought about the consequences.
• Estimate how much food you’ll need to eat to reach that level of fullness. Prepare, serve or order only as much as you think you’ll need; if you were served too much, move the extra food aside.
• Before you start eating, visually or physically divide the food in half to create a “speed bump.”
• Eat mindfully and check your fullness level when you hit that speed bump in the middle of eating, at the end of your meal, and again 20-30 minutes later.
• If your goal is to feel satisfied and comfortable, it will help to move away from the table or move the food away from you to signal that you’re done as soon as you are get even close.

Am I Full?

Some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you determine how full you are:

·         How does my stomach feel? Can I feel the food? Is there any discomfort or pain? Does my stomach full, stretched, full or bloated?

·         How does my body feel? Do I feel comfortable and content? Do my clothes feel tight? Is there any nausea or heart burn? Do I feel short of breath?

·         How is my energy level? Do I feel energetic and ready for the next activity? Or am I sleepy, sluggish, tired or lethargic?

·         What do I feel like doing now?

If you’ve overeaten, sit quietly for a few moments and become completely aware of how you feel. Don’t beat yourself up; just focus on the sensations so you’ll remember them the next time you’re tempted to overeat. You may be less likely to repeat the mistake if you think through the consequences first.

Don’t Miss the Lesson

When you realize you’ve eaten too much, ask yourself, “Why did it happen?”  and “What could I do differently next time?” Turn your mistake into a learning experience.

There are a lot of reasons people eat past the point of satisfaction: habits, learned behaviors, past dieting, and mindless eating. For example:

“It was a special occasion.” You’re more likely to overeat if you only give yourself permission to eat enjoyable foods on special occasions. You don’t need an excuse to have a wonderful meal—so why use a special occasion as a reason to overeat? Ask yourself, “If this occasion is so special, why would I want to eat until I feel miserable?”

Here are some of the other holiday triggers you’ll learn how to handle in chapter 7 of Am I Hungry?

I felt obligated.

It tasted good so I just kept eating.

I wanted to taste everything.

I was afraid I wouldn’t get that food again.

I saved the best for last.

I ate food I didn’t enjoy.

I wasn’t paying attention as I ate.

I ate too fast.

I mindlessly picked at the leftovers.

I had too much on my plate.

I was keeping up with someone else.

I wanted to get my money’s worth.

I hate to let food go to waste.

I Ate Too Much! Now What?

Even people who eat instinctively sometimes overeat. However, although they may feel regretful and uncomfortable, they don’t typically feel guilty. They don’t think, “Well, I’ve already blown it; I might as well keep eating then start my diet tomorrow.” Instead, they just listen to their body and return to eating instinctively by allowing hunger to drive their next cycle. By listening to your body’s wisdom, you can compensate for occasional overeating.

After you overeat, wait and see when you get hungry again. Rather than continuing to eat out of guilt or by the clock, listen to your body. It probably won’t need food as soon so you may not be hungry for your usual snack or even your next meal.

When you get hungry again, ask yourself, “What do I want?” and “What do I need?” Don’t punish yourself or try to compensate for overeating by restricting yourself. If you try to make yourself eat foods you don’t really want, you’ll feel deprived and fuel your eat-repent-repeat cycle. Trust and respect what your body tells you because it’s likely that it will naturally seek balance, variety and moderation. You might notice that you’re hungry for something small or something light—maybe a bowl of soup or cereal, a piece of fruit or a salad.

Lastly, don’t use exercise to punish yourself for overeating; instead be active all the time and use the fuel you consume to live a full and satisfying life.

Eat Mindfully. Live Vibrantly!

Michelle May, M.D.

Yesterday I confessed that I had become a bit of a wine snob. I’m not proud and I’m certainly no sommelier, just grateful that I’ve discovered the similarity between the enjoyment of both wine and food in moderation. 

Here’s my take on the essence of wine tasting and the Mindful Eating Corollaries:

Step One

Wine Tasting: Pour your wine in a clear, stemmed glass, filling it only halfway or less so there’s room to swirl.

Mindful Eating: Serve your food on a plate rather than eating it out of cartons, bags, or other containers that are destined for the dump or that prevent you from fully seeing what you’re putting in your mouth. And if you’ve got too much food to see the plate, you’ve probably got more than you actually need.

Step Two

Wine Tasting: Notice the color and viscosity of the wine. Swirl it gently in the glass then put your nose in and sniff deeply to appreciate the aromas that hint about the terroir and winemaking process used.

Mindful Eating: Notice the colors, textures, and aromas of your food. Take a moment to express gratitude for the food on your plate and everything it took to get it there.

Step 3

Wine Tasting:  Sip a small mouthful of wine. Swish the wine over your tongue and open your mouth slightly as you inhale, bringing the aromas into the back of your nose.

Mindful Eating: Put a small amount of food in your mouth and set your f ork down so you can focus on the bite that is in your mouth rather than the next one. Chew your food thoroughly as you breathe to bring the flavors up to the back of your nose where much of the “taste” of food actually comes from.

Step 4

Wine Tasting: Mentally describe the flavors, identifying subtleties, similarities to other familiar flavors, and noting how the wine complements or detracts from any food you’re eating. 

Mindful Eating: Be aware of the flavors, textures, and temperatures of your food. See if you can identify the ingredients and notice how they layer to create new flavors.

Step 5

Wine Tasting: Spit out the wine if you’ll be tasting several wines in a row so you don’t dull your senses or cross that invisible line between enjoyment and intoxication.

Mindful Eating: DON’T spit out the food! Instead, take small servings and small bites to pace yourself so you don’t cross that invisible live between enjoyment and misery.

Food and Wine Lovers’ Tip: Taste and eat with attention and intention - attention to the experience and the intention of enjoyment without having to pay the price of excess.

Wine Lovers’ Tip: Maintain a healthy weight by enjoying food MORE. Eat the same way you taste wine. (Open a bottle tonight and tell everyone you’re on a new diet!)

New Zealand and Australia are known for their outstanding “new world” wines. We weren’t in the heart of wine region in either country but we managed to find some interesting tasting rooms for a little ”practice.”

One tasting room was built in an old mortuary (I know, that should have been our first clue). They served old (I don’t mean aged) wine in little plastic communion-style cups. The wines had creepy names that bore no relation to the grapes that gave their life for us. The wine maker, a retired chemist, said, “Making wine is easy.” I whispered in my husband’s ear, “Making good wine - now that’s the hard part!”

It dawned on me that sometime during the 15 years since I quit drinking white zinfandel (not that there’s anything wrong with that), I had actually learned to appreciate good wine. I’m no expert but I know what I like (and it isn’t usually served in plastic). So how did I become a wine snob?

The same way I became a foodie: one taste at a time.

By simply deciding to be attentive to what I am eating (and drinking), I’ve become much more aware of the aromas, flavors, textures of food. More importantly, I’ve become much more connected to the experience and its affect on my body. Just as I know that there’s an invisible but very real line between enjoyment and abuse of wine, there’s a similar line that many people cross with food.

That is a simple but profound lesson that has allowed me to enjoy food more while eating less. I am no longer dazzled by large portion sizes or distracted by packaging, health claims or other attempts to lure me into eating marginal food (any more than the wine cellar viewed through the hole in the floor where they used to raise the casket could distract me into believing the wine was worth drinking!).  

Tomorrow I’ll share the steps for wine tasting and the corollaries in Mindful Eating.

While we were in Australia visiting my sister-in-law, I had the opportunity to observe her twin ten month old boys and three year old daughter. Here I am at a restaurant entertaining one of the twins who’d lost interest in eating once he was full:

The children affirmed my belief that the solution to resolving our weight problems is to go back to eating like we did when we were kids. Here are five things they did consistently:

1. They only ate when they were hungry. On the occasion when they were eating simply for fun (a taste of mum’s scone), one or two bites was plenty.
2. They stopped when they were full - even when mum tried to coax them into eating more.
3. They only ate what they liked - and they liked a surprising variety of foods. How much less food would adults eat if we skipped the so-so stuff?
4. They used up their energy playing, exploring, and growing. TV was just too boring to hold their attention compared to learning new things.
5. When they were tired, they slept.

We’re making weight management too hard! It’s time to get back to the basics.

Michelle

As Stanly pointed out, although my son Tyler seems to effortlessly eat exactly what he needs, most of the rest of us need to conscioulsy override or work with our Clean Plate tendencies. For example, at Jack Stacks, Owen and I decided to split a platter that included smaller portions of several of their most popular meats and side dishes. When it came we found it hard to believe that one person could eat it all but the waiter insisted they do!

You’ve probably heard lots of advice about cutting back on portion sizes; the tips section below outlines some specific strategies for doing just that. However, my best advice is to shift away from thinking about portions in terms of calories (an external measure that can result in feelings of deprivation) to thinking about them in terms of how you’ll feel (an internal measure that results in positive feelings).

In other words, it’s not about being good, it’s about feeling good. How many times have you ruined a fabulous meal by eating so much that you felt stuffed and miserable afterward?

I love to share meals with my husband, my daughter, or my friends. I call it “co-ordering and co-eating.” The meal is more of a shared experience; we get more variety and just the right amount of food, usually for less money. And the big bonus is that we feel comfortable and energetic when we’re through.

Food Lovers’ Restaurant Tip: Portion sizes at many restaurants are large enough for two – think of it as “Two for the price of one.” You can share an appetizer or a salad and split an entrée; you can order two entrees and have some left to take home; or you can share an entrée and a dessert. If you don’t want to share with someone, get your to-go container before you start eating and put some aside for another meal. You’ll get to enjoy it all over again!

While I was in meetings, my family was on their own. My son Tyler who is 17, tall and thin, told me they ate breakfast at the old fashioned Harvey House Diner in historic Union Station before visiting Science City. He ordered a cinnamon roll for $2.99 that turned out to be as big as a plate (“It made a Cinnabon look like an appetizer!”).

As a person who has maintained his instinctive ability to manage his weight with no effort whatsoever, he ate 3/4 of it and wasn’t hungry again until early afternoon. (To find out whether you are an Instinctive Eater, take this quiz.)

I don’t believe in being overly restrictive or shaming my kids into eating healthy but this did prompt a conversation about what would happen if we ignored our bodies’ nutrition needs for the next three weeks. They were more selective the next couple of mornings but he still says it was the best cinnamon roll he’s ever had!

Effortless Weight Management Tip: Your choices don’t need to be perfect every time to reach and maintain a healthy weight. In fact, people who eat instinctively can eat whatever they want so they’re able to balance eating for enjoyment with eating for nutrition. When they choose a less than healthy food, they don’t eat it all because they’ve “already blown it.” They don’t feel guilty which for most people just leads to more overeating. And they don’t use exercise to punish themselves when they overeat. Instead, they practice intuitive eating: They eat what they want, enjoy it without guilt, and use the fuel for their active lifestyle. When their fuel tank is low, they eat again.

We’re talking about how to use your thoughts to draw what you want into your life - in this case, reaching and maintaining a healthier weight without having to diet chronically. Here is a little more food for thought:

All foods can fit into a healthy diet

When you’re on a diet, you’re forced to think about what you can’t eat. As you try to resist certain foods, your thoughts and attention are drawn to them and you crave them more than ever. When you eventually give in, those foods have more power than ever so you often end up overeating them, feeling guilty, then punishing yourself be depriving yourself even more. This lead to a vicious cycle that I call the Eat-Repent-Repeat cycle. 

When deciding what to eat, instead of attempting to follow a list of rules, select and enjoy a variety of foods so your diet reflects balance and moderation. Just as important as balancing the nutrients in your diet, balance eating for nourishment with eating for enjoyment. This leads to greater satisfaction - with less food. 

Visit http://www.amihungry.com/ for tools to help. 

I received this hysterical email from Karen who ordered Am I Hungry? as an e-book that comes with a complimentary Journal.

“I made the mistake of printing out a couple of pages of the Am I Hungry? Journal at work. My boss happened to pick it up off the printer. Here’s what happened.

My Boss: Did you print this? (She handed me the blank food journal that said, “Am I Hungry?” at the top).
Me: Yes, it’s something my weight loss coach recommended to me.
My Boss: You’re eating a donut.

So I finished eating the donut and sat there thinking about all the things that I wish I’d said. I sent an email to my friends asking them to pick their favorite reply:

• Oh no. I thought it was a carrot! Quick! Get a stomach pump!
• Here. Here’s my food journal. Would you just keep track of it for me from now on?
• Yes, that’s my new food plan. One donut in the morning and nothing else all day!
• Didn’t you eat one?
• I’m sorry. I thought the donuts were brought in for everyone. Someone should have told me I wasn’t allowed to have one.
• Yes, it’s the new Police Officer Diet.

Might as well laugh but it didn’t feel funny at the time.”

Karen’s boss’ mistaken assumptions about what it takes to reach a healthier weight highlight many of the reasons diets don’t work: 

1. If you’re on a diet, you’re not allowed to eat anything that tastes good
2. Everyone else can have a donut but you can’t
3. If you’re overweight, everyone has the right to comment on what you eat
4. If you eat one donut, you’ve blown it for the day
5. The 200 calories in an occasional glazed donut causes more weight gain than the 200 calories in a bowl of cereal with skim milk and blueberries
6. Only thin people can eat donuts in public

Ridiculous! Long term weight management doesn’t require deprivation or perfect eating. That approach only causes shame, guilt, hunger, and rebound overeating. Instead, take charge of your decisions, including enjoying a donut when you really want one. Karen, you are the boss of your body.

For more about weight management without deprivation and guilt, visit http://www.AmIHungry.com.

I knew the New Year’s weight loss ads were coming…but I never saw this coming!

Weight Watchers claiming they are not a diet? WHAT???

The same DIET I restarted 17 times? (I don’t give up easily, especially when everyone said it was the best diet out there - so obviously that meant there was something wrong with ME!)

If I had had to go to medical school 17 times, I would have finally decided that wasn’t working either. But I was smart and determined enough to get through medical school so maybe the problem wasn’t me. When I saw one patient after another fail Weight Watchers too (please forgive me if I was the one who sent you there; I didn’t know better yet), I finally realized that diets don’t work (unless of course you are only interested in short term results).

So when I saw Weight Watchers using that very phrase, “diets don’t work,” I was astounded and offended. What were they charging me for all those years?

And to add insult to injury, they are using my tag line, Stop Dieting, Start Living (I am not kidding; I had to take it off my home page http://www.amihungry.com/ but it is already printed on a bunch of my products!). Maybe I’ll have to change mine to: Stop Dieting Weight Watchers, Start Living. But then maybe they’ll revoke my lifetime membership and I won’t be able to rejoin for ”free” for the 18th time.

They even have the nerve to say, “If diets worked, why are they changing every five minutes?” Good point! Why does Weight Watchers change every year? (Oh yeah, I have a similar line on my website, “If diets were the solution, there wouldn’t be a problem” http://www.amihungry.com/health-professional-resources.shtml. Maybe I should change that one too: “If Weight Watchers was the solution, there wouldn’t be a problem.”

Really, IF Weight Watchers worked, would anybody still be overweight? I RARELY meet  an overweight person who hasn’t done it - at least once.

Before any of you Weight Watchers fans write back telling me what a great diet, ooops, I mean lifestyle change, it is, just ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. If it’s not a diet, then why do they tell you how many points you can eat each day?
2. If it’s not a diet, then why do you have to earn the right to eat more by exercising?
3. If it’s not a diet, then why do you have to be weighed in?
4. If it’s not a diet, then how come vegetables are “free” instead of just good for you?
5. If it’s not a diet, then why is everybody on it talking about food ALL the time?
6. If it’s not a diet, then why do you have to weigh, measure and write down your food? (unless of course you choose their “Core” plan - then you can eat as much as you want of the foods they say are allowed).

I’m not saying Weight Watchers isn’t a “lifestyle change.” I’m just saying, who wants that kind of lifestyle?

Yesterday I told you that there are three questions you should ask before you decide what to eat.

The first question, “What do I want?” may come as a surprise because people are often afraid they’ll lose control when they eat what they really want. But what happens when you try to avoid something you’re craving—like those Girl Scout Cookies that were delivered right after you started a low-carb diet?

First, you check the label and confirm that they’re off limits so you put them in the freezer. Two days later they whisper to you from their hiding place, “Pssst. We’re in here!” You manage to resist them, instead munching on some olives, four cubes of cheese, a hunk of leftover meatloaf with a side of celery sticks, two pieces of low-carb toast—and yet you still don’t feel satisfied.

“Hey! We’re in here and we taste great frozen!” You finally give in and have two Thin Mints®. Blew it again! Might as well finish the sleeve—and a bowl of ice cream—and start over tomorrow. Sound familiar?

Deprivation and guilt are two of the most powerful triggers for overeating. Instead, keep in mind that all foods fit into a healthy diet. Thinking about what you really want to eat without judging yourself will keep you from feeling deprived and out of control when you choose to eat certain foods.

You might be worried that if you ask yourself what you’re really hungry for, you’ll always choose foods you “shouldn’t.” At first this might seem true, since cravings tend to get stronger if you’ve tried to ignore them for a long time. But once you let go of the guilt about eating certain foods, you’ll find that you want a variety of foods to feel healthy and satisfied.

Join me for an 8-week Spirit of Women/Am I Hungry? weight management workshop at Banner Desert Medical Center. Send an email to info@amihungry.com or visit http://www.AmIHungry.com.