In my last post, “First, do no harm,” I shared two examples of families struggling to balance their healthcare professionals’ concerns about the prevention of childhood obesity with their need to raise children with high self-esteem and a healthy attitude toward nutrition and physical activity.  

This is a critical issue because the wrong approach makes the problem worse, not better. In a study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine in November 2007, the investigators reported that weight-teasing by family, personal weight concerns and dieting/unhealthy weight-control behaviors “strongly and consistently” predicted being overweight, binge eating, and engaging in extreme weight-control behaviors after 5 years.

Now, I want to share Six Steps for a Family-Centered Approach to Healthy Lifestyles: 

1. Cherish your children by making sure that your home is a place of unconditional love and acceptance – no matter what they may face in the outside world. 
2. Don’t overrule your child’s hunger and fullness signals. They were born with the instinctive ability to eat the right amount of food so don’t force feed them or make them clean their plate. 
3. Focus on choices, not numbers. Instead of talking about weight, clothing size, calories, fat grams or other external means of control, talk about the importance of making decisions that nourish and fuel a fulfilling life.
4. Remember, all foods fit into a healthy diet. Never make certain foods “bad” or “forbidden” since that only increases their desirability and leads to guilt and overeating. Instead, teach balance, variety and moderation.
5. Make time for regular enjoyable physical activity and play time as a family. NEVER equate exercise with punishment for eating.
6. Share regular family meals – even if its pizza (more on this in my next post).

 (For information about Dr. Michelle May’s keynote, “A Family-Centered Approach to Healthy Lifestyles” please visit http://www.michellemaymd.com/keynotes-workshops.shtml)

Twice in the last week, mothers have told me stories about taking their pre-teen daughters in for a check-up and the doctor commenting about their weight in a way that made them uncomfortable. In both cases, the mothers saw a visible reaction from their daughters and were concerned about the lasting impact this would have on their body image.

In one case, the pediatrician told the girl, “Your weight is pretty good this year. You were on the chubby side last year.” By the look on her daughter’s face, her mother felt the word “chubby” would resonate in her daughter’s head for years. In the other case, the doctor commented, “You have gained a lot of weight in the last year. Although this is common as you go through hormonal changes, you need to cut out junk food and start exercising to prevent yourself from gaining too much weight.” That week her mother noticed an over-concern about calories and comments like, “I hate exercise.”

This really disturbs me but I can also empathize with these doctors. They are constantly being told to diagnose overweight children in order to stem the rising tide of childhood obesity. However, many healthcare professionals have not been adequately trained when and how to raise the issue in a sensitive way or to ask open-ended questions about the child’s and family’s lifestyle in order to develop a helpful, realistic action plan and follow-up.

So what should you do as a parent to prevent or deal with well-meaning advice that you feel has the potential to harm your child’s self-esteem?

First,  make sure your child’s healthcare team knows that you want all visits to be health-focused, not weight-focused. Don’t hesitate to request a private time to discuss any concerns ahead of time.

Your child must have an accurate height and weight measured so their BMI (body mass index) can be plotted for their age. Make sure that the doctor looks at multiple points, not just one point in time (only a snapshot), and takes into account muscle mass, growth spurts and other factors, and explains how they interpret what they see. You may wish to have this discussion without your child present so you and the doctor can together decide how to best approach any concerning trends. I am not suggestion that you be secretive or ignore problems, but you know your child best and will be in the best position to support them if changes need to be made.

During preventive visits, the doctor should also ask pre-teens and teenagers how they feel about their weight or size and whether they have any concerns about their eating. This will sometimes unearth body image disturbances or disordered eating patterns.

If there are significant concerns about the child’s weight, eating habits, or activity patterns, your healthcare professional will need to obtain detailed information (or refer you to someone who can) before offering general advice.

Next time, I’ll talk about specific strategies for creating healthy family habits that doesn’t contribute to weight and eating problems later.

(For information about Dr. Michelle May’s keynote, “A Family-Centered Approach to Healthy Lifestyles” please visit http://www.michellemaymd.com/keynotes-workshops.shtml)

We’re talking about how to use your thoughts to draw what you want into your life - in this case, reaching and maintaining a healthier weight without chronic dieting. Here is some food for thought about living an active lifestyle:

Food for Thought: I am a healthy, active person.

Let go of your negative messages about exercise like, “I don’t have time,” “I’m too tired,” or “I have to follow the plan perfectly or not at all” that keep you stuck in ineffective behavior patterns. As you picture yourself as fit and energetic, you will see the stairs instead of the elevator.

Food for Thought: I live an abundant, fulfilling life. 

Despite this food and diet-crazed culture, remember the real reason you eat is to fuel your life and give you the energy to do whatever you need and want to do. 

The secret to weight management isn’t about finding the right diet or finding the willpower to resist eating foods you love. The secret is to recognize your old counterproductive thought patterns then change the way you think and feel about how food fits into your life and create the results you truly desire.

Visit http://www.amihungry.com/ for tools to help.  

We’re talking about how to use your thoughts to draw what you want into your life - in this case, reaching and maintaining a healthier weight without having to diet chronically. Here is a little more food for thought:

All foods can fit into a healthy diet

When you’re on a diet, you’re forced to think about what you can’t eat. As you try to resist certain foods, your thoughts and attention are drawn to them and you crave them more than ever. When you eventually give in, those foods have more power than ever so you often end up overeating them, feeling guilty, then punishing yourself be depriving yourself even more. This lead to a vicious cycle that I call the Eat-Repent-Repeat cycle. 

When deciding what to eat, instead of attempting to follow a list of rules, select and enjoy a variety of foods so your diet reflects balance and moderation. Just as important as balancing the nutrients in your diet, balance eating for nourishment with eating for enjoyment. This leads to greater satisfaction - with less food. 

Visit http://www.amihungry.com/ for tools to help. 

You’ve probably heard of the Law of Attraction. This universal law has been recognized by successful individuals for centuries and is reaching millions of people through the viral-like spread of the movie “The Secret.”

Essentially, the Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. In other words, where your attention goes, your energy flows. You attract into your life whatever you are thinking and feeling. You create your own circumstances by the choices you make—and those choices are fueled by your thoughts. Therefore, your thoughts are the most powerful tools you have for creating the life you want.

So how do you apply the Law of Attraction to one of the most challenging problems many people face: managing your weight?

First, recognize that significant change entails far more than just “positive thinking.” It involves replacing old ineffective thoughts about eating and exercise with new powerful thoughts that lead to remarkable changes in behavior. Over the next several days, I want to share some simple but powerful food for thought to transform the way you manage your weight.

Food for Thought: I have the instinctive ability to manage my weight effortlessly.

Life wasn’t meant to be a struggle - and neither was fueling your body. So forget restriction and deprivation. Instead, trust your body to let you know when and how much to eat by relearning to use hunger and satiety to guide your eating - just as you did when you were a young child.

Just ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” whenever you feel like eating. While this may seem too simple, the simplicity is what makes it so effective - and makes it a great place to start changing your mindset. Just don’t confuse simple with easy; eating on autopilot can be a challenging habit to break so be consistent and patient with yourself.

Visit http://www.amihungry.com/ for tools to help.